Forbidden love?
“I love you so much, Monica...” he said, gently stroking her cheek and wiping away the tears that insisted on falling from her eyes.
“I never thought I could have so much love inside my heart...” she sobbed, “... is this some kind of dream?”
He took her hand and kissed her palm, “It feels like one, but it’s real. And so are my feelings for you. You’re so precious to me...”
He kissed her forehead, her eyelids, the tip of her nose and then he kissed her lips once more. But, all of a sudden, Monica pulled away, so abruptly that he got scared.
“No!” she spoke, getting rid of his arms, and rose to her feet a second later.
“Monica... what?” he spoke, confused with such reaction. But it wasn’t even necessary to hear an explanation: the look of fear and guilt on the Irish angel’s face was clear enough.
“We weren’t supposed to have these feelings!” she said, with more tears rolling down her cheeks. He stood up and came closer to her.
“Monica, I’m confused too. I know this is all new to us and that we need time to understand it, but...” he placed his hand on her cheek, “... but if there’s one thing I’m sure of is my feelings for you.”
“But we are angels... we weren’t created to have these feelings inside our hearts!”
“What I have inside my heart is nothing but love! And if it’s love, it can only come from the Father!”
She gave a few steps back from him and covered her face with both hands, “I’m so confused!”
Her crying caused him a great sensation of pain and all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and take all her sorrow away.
“Monica...” he tried to move closer to her but she backed away again.
“Andrew, please, don’t...”
“I love you!”
Hearing those words only made her cry even more, “... I’m sorry...” was all that she could utter, before running away from him.
The blond angel stood still, a turmoil of different thoughts and feelings going on his mind. What Monica had said was true: they were angels and had been created to accomplish the Father’s work. Falling in love was for humans, not for them. Frowning with anguish, he ran his fingers through his short blond hair: why then was he feeling like this?
Great sadness invaded his heart when he thought that maybe Monica wasn’t all too sure about her own feelings. But at the same time, there was the kiss and that was the sweetest moment of all his existence, a blessing and a gift which had left its imprint in his heart forever.
“Father... please, forgive me if what I did was wrong... but... but I love her... I love her so much...” he whispered, with some tears forming in the corner of his eyes.
X
Monica walked along a vast green field for some time, the memories of what had happened a few hours earlier were still fresh in her mind, and once in a while, tears made their way down her cheeks. She had never felt so lost. If on one side shame and guilty filled her heart, on another, a great sensation of joy insisted on remaining there too. But she was fighting against it; she and Andrew were angels, heavenly beings and hadn’t been made to carry human feelings inside their hearts.
The Irish angel walked ahead until she heard an all too familiar voice, a shelter from the thunderstorm that had taken control over her soul. A dark skinned old angel was admiring her surroundings and singing a beautiful hymn when Monica quickly approached her, grateful for finding her dearest friend and supervisor.
“Tess...”
“Angel Girl!” the oldest angel replied, glad to see her charge and also beloved friend. But she frowned with concern a second later, seeing the tears that insisted on falling from her eyes. “Baby... what is it?”
“Oh, Tess... please, help me!”
Tess wasted no time in gathering the sobbing angel in her arms, in a motherlish way. And she cried incessantly for long minutes, which only increased the supervisor’s worries. What could have caused so much pain?
Finally feeling her tears diminish, Tess pulled away and took some strands of hair from her face, “Baby, try to calm down, ok? Whatever it is, I’m here now and I’ll help you!”
Still sobbing, Monica nodded her head. Tess held her hand and they sat down on a fallen tree trunk, “Now tell me, what happened?”
The Irish angel looked at the ground; she didn’t even have the courage to stare at the supervisor, “I’m so ashamed... I... I don’t even know how to start...”
Tess cupped her chin and lifted her head up, so that their eyes could meet, “Angel child, I can see how much you’re suffering and all I want to do at this very moment is to take it away from your heart.”
“That’s... that’s impossible, Tess.”
“Nothing is impossible with the Father!”
Hearing that, the Irish angel closed her eyes, “I guess He must be so disappointed in me right now...”
“Baby, you know that’s not true and that right now He’s offering you His hand to help you to stand up. So please, tell me what’s going on.”
“Andrew... I... was with Andrew during the morning... we hadn’t seen each other in months...”
“I know that and I know how you’ve missed that angel boy; we both missed him!”
“yes... that’s true... I... I missed him... very badly... so, today, this morning, we met at the beach...”
“Did you two argue?”
“No...” fresh tears rolled down her cheeks and she looked away from the supervisor once more, “We were talking... and looking at the sea when...”
“When?”
“I looked at him and I... I was confused... I felt...” she sighed deeply, “I’ve never felt that way before...”
“What exactly do you mean?”
The Irish angel swallowed hard and, gathering all her courage, she finally confessed what was troubling her, “Andrew and I... we... we kissed...”
Tess was taken aback by that sudden revelation, “What are you telling me, Monica?”
The shocked tone in her voice only caused Monica to be twice more ashamed and she felt like disappearing from there. Then, she started to cry again, “We kissed, Tess... We couldn’t, it’s forbidden, I know; but we didn’t think about that... we kissed and then he told me that he loved me!”
“Dear Father!”
“And I love him too! Although I shouldn’t, although it’s forbidden...”
Her crying became more intense once again and, despite the impact of Monica’s confession, Tess’ heart was filled with great sorrow to see her dearest friend so unhappy and desperate. The oldest angel held her in her arms and rocked her as if she was a little girl.
“Shh... please, calm down, Angel Girl...”
“I don’t deserve to be called an angel anymore! I hurt the Father’s feelings! And... and I also hurt Andrew’s feelings! When I was finally aware of what we were doing, I told him to stay away from me! I still can see the hurt look in his eyes!” she cried even more, “I’m an awful creature, Tess! I should be sent away from Heaven!”
“Please, don’t say that Monica! Of course you’re not an awful creature, you’re God’s daughter!”
“I betrayed His confidence! He must be ashamed of me now!”
X
Andrew wandered around the desert beach he and Monica had met on the previous morning. Barefoot, with his hands in his pockets and dishevelled hair, he walked along the sand with a miserable expression on his face. The memories of what had happened couldn’t go away from his mind and the blond angel had never experienced so much joy and sorrow at the same time.
“Andrew...”
The blond angel turned around and saw Tess standing right behind him. And, by the expression on the supervisor’s face, he could tell she already knew what had happened.
“Tess...” he whispered and, like Monica, stared at the ground, without knowing what to do, “...You’ve... you’ve talked to Monica, right?”
“Yes. She told me what happened here.”
After a long minute of silence, he spoke again, “I... I don’t know what to say to you... other than what I already said to Monica...” his voice was hoarse with emotion and, even with his head lowered, it was possible to see a single tear making its way down on his face. The great sadness that took control over his heart was evident, as well as his anguish for not knowing what to do and Tess could feel it. Like a mother, she gave a few steps ahead and opened her arms, holding the blond angel in a tight, motherlish warm embrace. Andrew buried his face on her shoulder and, for some moments, dared to thank God for sending the supervisor to him.
“I know you’re confused, baby. And I pray to the Father to be able to help you somehow.”
He raised his head and stared at her with tear filled eyes, “I’m confused about many things, Tess. But I know for sure that I love Monica. I love her with all my heart, with all my soul!”
“God... how is that possible?”
“I don’t know if I’m making a terrible mistake, if I committed a horrible sin, but, please, don’t judge me, Tess... not you.”
“Oh no! I’m not judging you, baby! To tell you the truth, I feel as sad as you are right now... I can feel how much you’re suffering; both of you are...”
“She’s crying right now, isn’t she?”
“Yes. When that poor baby found me I thought she would never stop crying... Monica is desperate, Andrew. But... but there’s one thing I could notice in her eyes...”
“What is it?”
“She loves you... She has exactly the same feelings you have inside your heart...”
A bittersweet smile appeared in his handsome face, “You really think so?”
“I know that Angel Girl like a mother knows her own daughter.”
Another tear fell from his sad green eyes, “I want so much to hold her in my arms... This love can’t be wrong, Tess! I love her with all my soul and I only want to see and make her happy!”
The oldest angel looked deep inside his eyes: all the truth in his words was there, as well as the purest and most beautiful feeling.
X
Monica was sitting on a small rock, under a huge green tree, and staring at a vast field with the wind blowing on her face. Tears were still falling freely from her eyes after the conversation she had had with Tess as nothing in the world seemed to wash them away and erase the sadness that had invaded her kind and compassionate heart.
“Father, please, help me... Help me to understand what’s going on in my heart... where is this feeling coming from? I’m so confused... so confused...” the Irish angel whispered, and sobbed with the constant stream of tears that fell from her eyes. Monica was so absorbed in her sorrow that she didn’t notice Andrew coming from behind her. And watching his beloved friend in so much sadness and anguish caused him to be equally miserable, as the last thing he wanted was to see her crying.
With a worried and sad expression on his face, he placed his hand over her shoulder. The sobbing little angel turned around and, when she saw him, Monica stood up immediately, and backed two steps away from him.
“Monica...”
“Andrew, please...”
“I... I was worried about you. Tess told me you were crying...”
“So... you already spoke to Tess, right?”
“Yes... I was with her right now...”
She lowered her eyes and stared at the ground, as he came closer to her once more, “Monica I know this isn’t easy, but... but we have to face this whole situation! The two of us; together!”
“It’s not something to face, Andrew...” she spoke, her voice was full of emotion, “... it’s something to forget...”
He cupped her chin and lifted her head up, so that their eyes could meet, “I would never be able to forget what happened... Not even in a thousand years...” then, the blond angel gently stroked her cheek, “... and I don’t want to...”
For a brief moment, Monica closed her eyes, cherishing that sweet caress, but then, she backed away once more, and stared at the ground.
“This is impossible, Andrew. Impossible... we are angels of God! We weren’t made to have these feelings, they’re forbidden to us! Oh Father! I... I feel so ashamed!” she cried.
But, this time, Andrew remained where he was and a hurt look could be seen in his green eyes, “I know that this feeling...” he quickly corrected himself, “... that this LOVE I feel for you isn’t something ordinary. But I would never feel ashamed of it!”
The hurt tone in his voice made her realise what she had done; the pain she had inflicted on him with her words. And that only caused her to feel twice worse. She covered her mouth with her hand and looked back at him, crying helplessly with regret, “Oh, Andrew... I’m sorry... I’m so sorry! I... I didn’t mean it...”
Then, without thinking about what she was doing, the Irish angel stepped closer to him and held him tightly; burying her face in his chest and sobbing violently.
“Please, forgive me, Andrew! Please, I’m terribly sorry! I’m so confused! I didn’t mean what I said, I’m not ashamed of my feelings! I’m so terribly confused!”
Finally, Andrew wrapped his arms around her small body and returned her embrace, running his fingers through her auburn hair and burying his face on her shoulder. He held her for dear life for several long minutes, until her tears subsided slowly. Then, he gently pulled away, just enough to look at her eyes, “We’ll find a way together, Monica. I’m sure the Father has an answer for what’s happening to us...”
Monica placed a trembling hand on his face and softly stroked his cheek, “Please, forgive me for what I said... I didn’t mean it, I...”
Andrew gently pressed a finger upon her lips to silence her, “I know. And I’ll ask you something: please, don’t cry, sweetie. You have no idea how it makes me suffer to see you in so much pain.”
Unfortunately, she couldn’t do what he asked her immediately, as some tears insisted on falling from her eyes no matter how hard she tried to blink them back. Andrew wiped them away with gentle fingers and then placed a loving kiss on her forehead, holding her tight once more.
“What are we going to do now, Andrew?”
“I don’t know. But I won’t give up on you, baby... you’re the most precious gift I ever received and I wouldn’t bear to stay away from you ever!”
Monica closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder, taking to her heart all his loving words. “I love you, Andrew... That’s the truth... I love you so much...”
Despite the dramatic situation, a flood of happiness invaded the blond angel’s soul and he dared to tighten his hold on her even more, as if he would never let her go again.
“Have you any idea of how happy you’re making me feel right now by telling me this?”
She pulled away just a few inches and softly stroked his face, “I don’t know what will happen to us... I don’t know if this feeling is really wrong, but... But the truth is here, in my heart: what I feel for you is love, Andrew. And...” a single tear fell from her eye, “... And even if it’s condemned by the Father, it’ll still be here. Forever.”
“Monica...”
Andrew was suddenly lost for words with what she had just said. He placed his hand over hers and kissed her palm. It was then that they heard a familiar voice near them.
“The Father never condemns true love; He blesses it!”
The two angels saw Tess standing right in front of them and pulled away. Not that they were afraid or embarrassed by the supervisor’s presence, much on the contrary, she was like a mother to them, the first person they had run to in that difficult moment. What they really feared was the news the oldest angel seemed to have with her, what would become of them from that moment on. Nevertheless, Andrew held Monica’s hand and felt her squeezing his own; both a bit confused with what Tess had to say.
“What do you mean, Tess?”
The supervisor stepped closer to them and took the angels’ hands, “what I mean is that, yes, the Father knows what’s happening to you, babies...”
Monica lowered her head and squeezed Andrew’s hand even more, as if asking for his strength. Feeling the fear and sadness flowing from her heart to his, Andrew sighed deeply, wanting nothing more than to hold her tight, “Tess, Monica and I...”
But the oldest angel didn’t let him finish his sentence, “What’s happening between you two is love, babies. Just love, plain and simple!”
“So is it really possible? Is it possible that angels can fall in love?”
“You two are the greatest evidence that it is possible, Angel Girl! And it’s exactly because you two are angels that this love is so special,” she smiled with tenderness, “It’s love in its purest form. What you two share has never happened before, it’s true, but no one can deny it’s the most beautiful feeling!”
A slight smile started to appear in their faces and, extremely surprised, Andrew and Monica looked at each other and after to the supervisor.
“Tess... are you saying that...”
“I’m repeating the Father’s words, angel boy! He would never condemn such a beautiful love. He, like no one else, can see what’s inside your hearts and is giving His blessing to both of you, babies.”
Happier than never, the two angels held each other tightly and the blond angel kissed the top of Monica’s head repeatedly.
“Oh Tess, I’m so happy! This is the best news we could ever receive!” Monica spoke, now with tears of joy falling from her eyes.
“Well, I can see that...” the oldest angel replied, with some irony, looking at them from head to toe and not missing how tight they were holding each other.
Monica reached out and took her hand, “But... there’s something else I need to know...”
Andrew and Tess looked at each other intrigued with the solemn tone in her voice.
“What is it, Miss Wings?”
“Will you give us your blessing, Tess?”
Andrew smiled and nodded his head, completely agreeing with his beloved Angel Girl.
“What?”
“She’s right, Tess. If there’s one person, other than the Father, who we would like to bless us, it’s you, because you’re... well, you’re like a mother to us!”
Monica let go of Andrew’s hand for a minute and held Tess’ arm, “Yes, and we love you!”
“We love you very, very much!”
Now it was the supervisor who felt a lump forming in her throat with such loving words. Not that she didn’t know all the love and respect her two dearest friends had for her, but hearing them saying so, especially on that important occasion, caused her eyes to be filled with tears of emotion, “Oh babies... my angel babies... of course I can give you my blessing!” she sniffled, unsuccessfully trying to hide her tears. Monica and Andrew exchanged an amused glance and, together, held the oldest angel tightly. “And I love you two very much too!” she exclaimed, receiving a big kiss on each cheek.
A minute later, though, Tess managed to control herself again, “Now, if you can still remember, we have work to do, so you two had better try to focus on our next assignment! It’ll start in some minutes!”
“Tess I promise we’ll meet you there in time...” Andrew spoke, as if asking for a couple of minutes alone with his dear Angel Girl. And the supervisor knew that they needed a moment and that they would be with her at the right time afterwards.
“Alright then! I’ll meet you two in some minutes... But it’s just some minutes! You’ll have the rest of eternity to... ‘talk’ later!” she replied, with an ironic tone in her voice, causing them to look at each other slightly embarrassed and blushed.
As the supervisor went away, Andrew and Monica looked at each other with a content smile upon their faces and he held her two hands.
“I can say my world is complete now.” the blond angel said, enjoying to see the spark of happiness in her eyes.
“If this is a dream I ... I don’t want to wake up...”
He released one of her hands and gently stroked her cheek, “It was a dream, Monica. But after this day, reality became sweeter than I could ever imagine!”
With tears of emotion once again filling her eyes, she gazed at him lovingly and tenderly, “I love you, Andrew. For the rest of eternity.”
Also with all the love in his eyes evident on his face, Andrew stepped closer to her and now placed the palm of his hand on her cheek; Monica immediately leaned on it, treasuring his delicate touch.
“So do I, honey. I love you with all my heart. With all my soul.”
She closed her eyes briefly, taking to her heart all his loving words and recording the emotion of that moment in the depths of her soul. Then, she opened them again and saw the same look of contentment in Andrew’s eyes. Slowly, he leaned down and finally kissed her lips tenderly and slowly.
Now that their worries had vanished forever, they remained lost in that long, loving kiss as if the rest of the world had stopped to allow them to enjoy that precious moment. From that day on, they knew that what they had inside their hearts was a great and pure love, which had been blessed by the Father Himself, creating a bond for the rest of eternity.
To be continued.